It’s been a while since my last post. That doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a good deal going on. In fact, this means that there has been a TON going on! But who doesn’t have stuff going on, right? SO, I wanted to take a little time to share about some things I’ve been mulling over for a while.
We’re into our third full month of this year’s Blackburn House family. It’s definitely taking much adjusting for us all as we seek to love and serve each other as we would Christ. I have probably asked myself more than three times over the past few months: “what’s the point of this whole thing again?” And honestly sometimes I’ve had to really do some searching to remember. My frustrations and fatigue have often crowded out what I know to be true. So I decided to take the time (particularly time while Phillip is at school–YAAAAYY) to write down some things that I know to be true. Here are two truths that I’d like to share with you. And trust me, I’ll be referring back to this more than you, my dear reader friends.
TRUTH 1: The peace we received about leaving Chicago for Todd.
I know that the choice to come to Todd was hard for Brandon and I, but I also know that before we left Chicago, the Lord had given us peace about the decision. I know that the peace we experienced helped us keep packing, to continue saying our bittersweet goodbyes to some of the dearest friends we’ve met (we miss you Martin Temple AMEZ Church, North Park Seminary community, dear neighbors and my education colleagues), to move 900 miles across the country with a 4 month old, to decide to live with substantially less income in a place where we would be obvious outsiders, and to live in a way that is Christian with complete strangers. I’m thankful for that peace that the Lord gave us. It seems to always go this way for us. You pray and ask God for wisdom, you try to make as wise of a decision as you can, and then you go with it. But there is absolutely NOTHING like the peace that God gives you at the beginning of the journey. Special thanks to my dear friend Rachael who reminded me of this just last week. And it takes being reminded sometimes. We need to be reminded of what is true, what God has already done, so we’ll know that He is indeed orchestrating things.
And even though we’ve experienced incredible gifts and graces since being in Todd, sometimes the difficulties can be distracting. So, it was comforting to remember that God had indeed spoken to our hearts even if once we were finally in Todd we would and continue to experience many difficulties. So, I must continue to remember what I know to be true.
TRUTH 2: Learning about my true self through being a mother.
And as I continue to ponder on aspects of my life that I know to be true, I can’t go more than a few minutes without talking about my current full-time occupation as a mom. I know that the time I’ve been able to spend with Phillip has been invaluable. God continues to use this child to teach me about my truest self. And isn’t that what we all want? We want to be our truest selves, not the facades that we have put on stage for the world to see. Talk about seeing what is true! Let me tell you, if you want to see truth, look at your children! They will show you the great, the good, the bad, the ugly and the down right despicable truth. And so I’ve begun this process of peeling back the layers that are covering the true me. It seems like the process is taking a very long time (especially since a lot of my day is spent building Lego houses), but I know that this process is one of those things that I must hold as true. This is God’s doing. The little glimpses that I get of who I truly am are God’s grace to me, glimpses that make me cringe at first, and then help me gradually peel back another layer.
And there is so much more that I can point to in my life that is true–new friendships, confirmed passions, the gift of seeing family regularly, and so much more. These truths are happening right here, in Todd, in the midst of Lego houses and smashed pretzels on the floor. And I am thankful!